Remedy for restless nights: Contentment [Santosha]
Sometimes bedtime looks like this
No matter how enlightened you are, bedtime can still be less than a state of nirvana.
There are good nights, and then there are anxious nights, where a list of to-dos and worries keeps our brains from fully resting.
One of my greatest weaknesses is keeping to the moment, staying present, and letting tomorrow worry about itself. I’ve been so highly wired for multitasking and productivity; it now takes gargantuan discipline to stay in the moment.
To rest properly, one needs to stay in the moment and be fully present. To stay in the moment, one must be content with not knowing what tomorrow brings. And one must be content with uncertainty, incompletion of tasks, and acceptance that life will not be perfect. Staying present and fully living the moment requires a constant state of contentment. However, one cannot be content if we are always waiting for better days, bigger bank accounts, better relationships, or even just hoping that the list of to-dos will resolve itself.
When I first learnt about the Niyamas in my yoga training programme, santosha (contentment) was the lesson that struck me particularly hard. Contentment was often associated with being slow, average, and unmotivated. My special ‘powers’ were in pushing people to outperform their expectations. As an adult, I aimed to work harder and faster than those around me. I learnt to process new concepts and skills quickly because at the workplace, we get rewarded and promoted for productivity, efficiency, and innovation.
But age, experience, and consciousness have taught me a different perspective on this. Contentment isn’t about not caring; it is about doing your best (and sometimes doing even better) and remaining detached from the outcome of your effort. It seems so contradictory, but this is why it’s beautiful. Your desire to surpass your previous best performance should stem from motivations that go beyond the outcome. It teaches us to focus on the process of being better and enjoying the journey of refinement so that we’d be proud of our effort and experiences regardless of the desired outcome.
To achieve contentment, we must embrace humility and acknowledge that there are forces in this world that are beyond our control. Even with our utmost effort, discipline, intelligence, and foresightful planning, the outcome may not meet our expectations. Accepting this reality on a daily basis allows us to stay grounded, humbled, and connected with a universe far more complex than our ability to understand it.
So the next time you have a restless night (or day), remind yourself that there is nothing you can do to control the outcome of the next day, and you should not bring it upon yourself to control it. These are little ways in which we align ourselves to the natural rhythm of the universe. Tomorrow will come and go.
Letting go is a ritual of humility, acceptance, and embracing the flow of life.